Blogging can be good for your image. As can Facebook and twitter. It can also be terrible. There are a couple of scriptural principles that make this important. I am also going to offer some observations from my time as a social media participant.


1. Your reputation and name matter.
   Proverbs 22:1- a good name is more desirable than great riches. To be esteemed is more valuable than silver and gold.

Now no doubt your name and reputation are formed from more than just social media. But don't fool yourself into thinking that who you are online does not affect who people perceive you to be. If you are mean or continuously cuss or post images, songs and quotes that are offensive... People will be offended. Don't be shocked as if your Facebook is some private world where you can be your most awful self. It is the world wide web after all. Be who you are at all times and use the tool of social media to see if you like what you see. And for those Christ followers out there...do you see Christ in who you are portraying yourself to be? You should.

2. Don't post what you would not say. But since you are, use it as an opportunity.
  Matthew 12:34....for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

In affect, you cannot help but post who you are. Some of us on social media need to realize that Facebook/twitter is not a discussion board for mental health professionals. It is also not a passive aggressive whipping post for every person who has wronged you.

Others of us need to realize that it is a place where people are expressing their hurts and hang ups. We would do well to minister the healing balm of Christ's love to those people. There is a wealth of opportunity to reach in and Speak truth. When possible, do this In person. It has become socially acceptable to admit your stalker tendencies in real life. "Hey... I noticed on Facebook that you seemed really discouraged." This is a tool for real life love; use it.

We are all affected by the presence of social media in the world. It has changed the way we do relationships. Why not work to make sure that is a good change for people and not a damaging one?

I have been blogging in my head for years. Of course back in the day, it wasn't called blogging, it was called talking to yourself. The Internet just legitimized this habit and allowed me to actually get my brilliant mental diary out to others. I haven't been disciplined to actually put my thoughts to the page because i have been running at a seriously aggressive pace that is hard to stop. I can't promise that I will stop and do
This often but here I go. Since I potentially really am only taking to myself, the risk for disappointment seems relatively small.

It has taken me seven weeks to unwind from my work pace. I was pretty ready to return to work until last week. And then it hit me... I am not going to be spending my days holding my baby for much longer. Now the pre-baby me didn't have a problem with this at all. Taking care of the child was another thing on my list of balance that I was going to delegate. No problem, no emotion...matter of fact. And then he stopped crying and started smiling at me. I began  repeating the phrase (in a googly voice) "oh!! Are you smiling at mama? Do you love mama?"

My former self is shocked but not quite appalled...just confused.  Who is this person inhabiting my body? Where did these emotions come from? Did I seriously make a baby that cute?

People who have witnessed this transformation are amused and the mothers in the crowd just look at me with a knowing smile. They ask, "so does that mean that you want to quit your job?!" I just shake my head no. Because the conundrum is that I really love my  job too. I love it on the bad days when someone is criticizing me to the point where I question myself. I love it on the good days when I see a student learning to love knowledge and wisdom. And I especially love graduation day ehen both of those students achieve their goal. So I have these two loves and I will give a little away pursung both of them. However I do know that when you are living in your calling, that is the best you that you can offer people. So MACU will get back a little different me, Jessica the Mom. And Myles will grow up knowing that I have two voices, professional Mom and ooey gooey mom. I think I can live with that.

So this is how you get fat....

I am in a workout slump. I think the last time I was this inactive, I had spasmonic dysphomia, in the fifth grade. That little spell took my vocal chords and my activity for about 9months. This time, I have no excuse. Usually when I get depressed (see anxious, stressed) , I don't eat, I run. A good bout of stress and or depression will usually knock off a couple of pounds. Not this time. It seems that this time, I have run out of margin. There is nothing left to push me to run and I am not running. I am walking in fact. Just to put it into perspective, walking for me is the last noble push from my deflated self motivation. Walking much like the elliptical machine, is what happens just before immobility and sleeping. I wish I had some sort of physical ailment to blame it on. There is that back burner thyroid problem but this bout of non-motivation came on conspicuously at the same time as my new job. Strangely, I have alot of energy for my job. I went to work at 7am two mornings in a row, voluntarily. I am supposed to be there at 8. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled with my zeal for my career, I am just not sure how it is linked in and sucking the life out of my love of running.

If you see my former athletic shadow, send her my way. My clothes and running partner would appreciate the help.

Love,
Depressed Runner in 2009

More than Humility

Just when you think humility is enough, weakness is knocking. I just got this unbeliveble promotion. And when I say unbelievable, I mean, seriously, I am shocked. It was a crazy ride but at the end of one year, I got my boss' job. Long story short, (though the long story is avaiable) after praying for the entire Spring semester about what my purpose is, God made it extremely evident that he has made a straight path for me into places that under other standards, I may not be qualified to go. Was I Surprised? A little but it has solidified in my heart that truly nothing is impossible for him. Because of this I can laugh a little when we put up these "standards" that we think will prevent us from going somewhere because the truth is, if God wants it to happen, it can happen sooner and more astoundingly than we could have ever hoped or imagined.

Ok, back to reality now. So God takes me on this trip of excitement and I was overwhelmed by his choice of me for this role. In the most minute, miniscule way, I felt like Mary (the mother of our Lord) as she realized that God had chosen her. Too young, underqualified (ie, not married) and from a no-name family. All of those things describe me. And I was humbled by the thought that God was using me to accomplish a plan that he had yet to reveal but was obviously working on.
....UNTIL, bam! Humility and honor turn the corner and run right into weakness. I mean really, I thought dependence on the Lord and a humble spirit was enough. That's biblical right? Well before you delight in humility, watch out, weakness for the purpose of TOTAL dependence is right around the corner. I suppose that I should be rejoicing in this weakness but I find that I am not sure how. Honeymoon periods are supposed to last longer than a week. Not this one I guess.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel honored to be a part of God's plan but the joy in the honor has slipped away for a while. Edged out by stress and a dizzy headache. It is good that God does not show me more than the next step. I am sure I might have pulled a Jonah on this one. So now I am just hanging by a thread that sometimes doesn't feel strong enough to hold me. This too will pass and I pray that in the mean time I am refined to be the woman that God is so carefully carving me to be.

Still Sleeping

This post is an actual question. I am not looking for someone to give me scriptural proof texting to back up what I rebelliously want to do instead of God's best. What do you think about getting up early. Honestly, when I do get up early, I love it. However, I am having a love affair with my pillow that has been on-going and idolatrous for years. I need sleep, seriously. But, I also love sleep. It is like a hobby, a friend. I sleep when I am tired physically, emotionally, spiritually. I love sleeping.

Lately though, I have been learning about prayer and being devoted to prayer because I genuinely want to grow closer to the Lord and see his Spirit empower my work and life... And move more fluidly to his guiding voice on a daily basis. So I am praying and I am reading and thinking and we don't have cable so that we will spend less time idly. However, I find that getting up early is a stumbling block for me. It is hard to get up early and even harder to let the first thing that I do be prayer. I have prayed that my body would want less sleep to try to help this out. i think I would have to go to bed at 8:30pm in order to get up early enough to do what I would like in the morning.

All of that to say, Here is my question. What do you think about morning times? How do you get up early and make it through the day? Is it better to get up with the Lord rather than go to bed with Him? What are your thoughts? Rebuke me, teach me, fill me in, I am open.

Talk is Cheap

The Lord has been pressing into my mind the need for me to eliminate empty words from my life. More specifically gossip. Now I have always treasured words and their power to encourage a heart or enrapture a mind. But they have a dark side. A powerful dark side. Everyone has experienced the slow death to part of themselves because someone has poisoned their mind and heart with an unkind, godless, empty word.

I have been reading 2 Timothy for some time, for reasons unknown to me...just reading. This morning, this is what I read: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." 2 Tim. 2:15-16

It seems that my ability to acurately handle the word of truth may be directly tied to my abililty to acurately handle my vocabulary. How many times do I idly talk about someone or something in a less than honorable way? How often do I indulge in juicy gossip or even in empty conversation that isn't necessary? It is really the godlessness of our words that I think endanger us. It is the conversations that contain an air of nothingness. No life...not really death...just emptiness. We have been given such a power to speak power and life into others. Perhaps the emptiness just takes away from that power. Please God show me what this means for my mouth.

Personality

I sometimes feel plagued by my personality. Not in a feel sorry for myself kind of way but in a way that makes me want to lock myself away until I can straighten up a bit. I have this introversion about myself. I think too much. When my thoughts don't really fit into the conversation, I find myself rescinding into the recesses of my own mind.

Last night was one such incidence. We went to bible study and I was jazzed up to talk about the chapters but as it has happened more than not, when the discussion opened, it took a turn that I was confused about. Where are they going with this? I wonder to myself. How did they get that out of this reading? I keep thinking. Don't get me wrong, I am not afraid to interject, I just can't wipe the scowl- slash- look of confusion off my face or find a place to put my voice in this conversation. I end up feeling like somehow I have become a liberal thinker...something I have never really been acused of being. Since when have I been the feminist?

Today I find myself still needing to discuss this book that was just like resounding music in my soul. But I can't. I can't even describe what is going on in my mind. Instead, I find something more like clanging symbols in my heart. I couldn't even figure out how to pray this morning because of this inner frustration that I thought I could sleep off. I find myself withdrawing from this community that is making me uncomfortable. Oh introversion, don't plague me now. Be strong frail heart, be open small mind.