Now this should be neither graphic or disturbing. I have read some of these that gave me nightmares, so given my squeamish self...That is not the case with my story.
I was not one to have an elaborate birth plan. To be honest, I am still not sure what the necessary parts of a birth plan are. I do know that this is the part of pregnancy where you say yes or no to an epidural. For me, that was a no brainer. Pain?? No thank you. In essence, my birth plan was to avoid hearing any of the reasons that people decide to forego the nectar of the anesthesiologist. I did this successfully, almost. I did have two college girls tell me something about disfigurement and paralysis, but I chose to dismiss it as inexperience and horror stories.
I suppose I had a couple of expectations. One was that he would come early/on-time (I do have a schedule you know). The other was that I would have a dramatic, middle of the night contraction story. In this mental montage, I had tons of adrenaline and my hair/makeup looked great. That did not happen.
I was induced on 3/13/12 at 5:30 in the morning. Also known as my husband's 28th birthday. When we got to the room and the nurses began to give me instructions I started to get really nervous. What am I doing? Why am I doing this? Oh my gosh (repeat 10times). I was dialated to a three like I had been for three weeks.
They started the pitosin and I immediately began contracting (according to the machine).
Terry and I started the latest episode of The Voice on Hulu while we waited to progress. Periodically, a nurse would come in and ask, "can you feel that?" Each time, my answer was no. Apparently my contractions looked pretty intense on the monitor. They let me know that I could have the epidural any time I wanted it. However, since I am afraid of all pain, I wanted to wait until my labor pains were greater than getting a big needle stuck in my back.
I was there by about 9:45am, at which point I ever so politely demanded/requested my epidural. While we waited my mom and sisters took turns massaging my back as I writhed in pain. Terry silently let me break all the bones in his hands.My contractions were one right on top of the other so that there were no breaks in between.
At 10:30, the angel with the epidural arrived. Once those drugs hit my system, I was praising the Lord for everyone in the hospital. Why anyone wants to do this without drugs is still beyond me.
Around noon, the nurse checked and I had progressed a little but was on track to deliver around 6pm that evening. I prepared myself for that mentally. (the exit strategy for babies has always baffled and terrified me)
1:30pm, the doctor dismissed everyone so she could check me again. She looked at me and told me it was time to do this thing. I began to freak out a little. It's not 6pm!?! I'm not ready!
I asked for my mom and she arrived as my transformer bed morphed into a baby receiving station. Terry was already in the room since I hadn't let go of his hand since 5:30 that morning. The Dr. began to give me instructions about pulling my knees up and pushing.
After the first big push, I asked them, "are you sure this is going to work?" I reminded Myself that women have been doing this for centuries. There was probably someone delivering a baby in Africa sans pain meds as I lay there.
I continued pushing. "Oh! There's his head!! Oh! Look at that hair! Do you want a mirror.?" The doc says. Heavens no! I don't want to see that, I replied. I kept contracting and pushing along with the counting nurse.
My mom said at some point my face shifted from doubt to determination and she knew I would deliver him soon. With the last push, I could feel his little legs kick out and I was finished. I have never been more surprised or overjoyed to see something I knew was coming. As soon as I saw him, I burst into tears and looked up at Terry, who's eyes were also brimming with tears. We did it. We have a baby!
As they cleaned him up and stitched me, I watched him in amazement. Oh my gosh, there is my own little human. 8 pounds, 8 ounces of little baby. How did that happen? In the same astonished moment, I felt stronger, more alive and more respectful of every mother on the planet.
I watched my proud husband admiring his son, knowing I was watching a wonderful dad already. It was a precious moment. I am still collecting our precious moments. I have grown to love and own the title I earned that day: mom to Myles Solomon Rimmer.