Light in the Darkness

There are critical questions we ask ourselves when it gets dark. 

Where am I? 

How long will the darkness last? 

Am I alone?

Will I make it back to the light?

What will I see when I can see again?

Darkness has the capacity to to shake us like nothing else can. Uncertainty is the kind of soul darkness that causes us to ask these questions deep on the inside. Uncertainty creates fear and the desire for control. 

 Control manifests itself in a number of different ways. Declarative statements, organization, hoarding, desperate information consumption. We all want control. We think. 

The problem is that control is an illusion. It always has been. It’s just that sometimes it is an illusion that is backed up by our perceived experience. I am doing all the right things and all the right things are happening. Plenty of money. Stability in my job. Oh look! A promotion. This upward trajectory lures us into believing that we are the captains of our own ship. We begin to believe that we are the person we can trust. 

And that’s just it isn’t it? This whole thing. This walk through life. It is all really a journey of trust and for some reason, trust is something that we just don’t want to do. I have trust issues we confess. And for that too, we have experiential evidence of why that downward spiral toward lack of trust is the most trustworthy path. Perhaps if I protect myself enough and cushion myself against loss and position myself in places of power I will be as invulnerable as I’m hoping to make myself. 

But this too is an illusion. There is no safety in walling ourselves off from others. There is no safety in our money or our jobs or even our credentialed intellect. 

Goodness that is bleak. Where does it leave us if control is an illusion? What are we to do when our best attempts at protecting ourselves and our families are also a fantasy? 

The good news is found smack dab in the middle of the bad news. 

God has made a way to find light in the darkness. He has created a reality where no matter the level of social distancing we experience, we are never alone. He has shone light into the darkness that the darkness cannot overtake. He has so loved us that no matter our physical reality when we emerge from hardship what we see will be made whole again. 

He is our great Redeemer. His name is Jesus. And he meets us in the depths of darkness and uncertainty. Small and Pandemic Hardship. He is with us and he wants you. 

Waymaker---Light in the Darkness

Walking toward Faith Amid a Fearful Crisis

Do Not Fear....

It's a sentiment I have heard from pastors, seen posted by friends, and said to others in the face of all of the news about COVID-19. Even in the conversations I'm having face to face, I feel the need to always preface, "I don't say this out of fear..." before I say whatever it is I am discussing. But the truth is, there is a presence of fear. Not big fear but a low level anxiety that my otherwise cool-headed, professional persona would rather not acknowledge. Given my preference for always being in control and being a voice of reason in any given situation, I can easily lead myself to a place where my body is feeling stress that my mind is unwilling to acknowledge.

I think this tendency is mostly rooted in personal preference for exiting fear as quickly as possible due to its unproductive outcomes. When I dig further into the phenomenon, I also wonder if it could be due to my desire to follow the rules and get my faith in line as quickly as possible. What I mean is, if people of faith are supposed to choose faith over fear, if God himself has commanded this of us (Joshua 1:9) and has not given us a spirit of fear (2 Tim 1:7)...then I'm more likely to shudder fear than to expel it.

The problem with resisting fear rather than driving it out is that my fear waits for me when I turn back around. If I haven't replaced fear with my own faith rather than the faith of someone else (my pastor, my friend, someone's verse image). Borrowing faith, though helpful in moments, is different than my own rootedness. When I borrow faith, I am beholden to the inspiration of another person's relationship with God. However, if I develop my own faith in the face of fear, nothing can take that away from me and I am not dependent on another person for access to that reserve.


So how are we to develop faith in the face of fear? These are the things I have learned to do when I am afraid on a person or pandemic level.

1. Fear is a trigger for prayer. I love what the psalmist says in chapter 56:3. "When I feel afraid, I will trust in you." Sometimes it is good to listen to my feelings. Feelings of fear are normal in times of crisis. When I feel fear in my body, even if I don't think I'm feeling afraid or stressed, I can pay attention to my feelings and allow them to remind me to pray. I may pray for myself, my family, the global health crisis, health workers, the immunosuppressed or my grandmother (you get the idea).

2. Take captive fear thoughts and replace them with truth. There are some truths I always remind myself that aim at my overall beliefs about my own place in the universe.

• I am never alone. (Deut. 31:6)
• God has a plan for me. (Jer. 29:11) 
• God wants me to be at peace. (John 14:27)
• I am fully loved and God loves my family/friends/neighbors more than I could. (John 3:16, Romans 8:31-39)
• God is good. (Ps. 119:68)

3. Worship. Worship music is like meditation for our emotions. Through my focused mind, body, spirit, I can offload my worry and center my heart. Jesus actually stands with his arms open, ready for me to throw my fears and anxieties to him.

4. Apply common sense in wise ways. It is prudent in the face of fear to look at what expert sources are saying to the masses. Neither fearfulness or under-reaction will do. I can be at peace and still purchase two weeks worth of food for my pantry. Listening to experts, more adept at interpreting crises situations means that I am choosing wisdom not ignorance.

My point is, trusting God in the midst of chaos is a choice to face our fears, not to pretend that we are unafraid. Pretend faith doesn't have power but true faith empties fear of power when we walk toward it rather than pretend we are there. Let His perfect love draw you close and cast out the natural fear that exists in you. Inner peace in you will equip you to transmit peace to others.