Early in my career, I attended a session at a conference that was for young professional women who wanted to climb the ladder of Higher Education Administration. It was run by other professional women who were more senior (Deans, AVPs, VPs, etc.). I'm a climber by nature. It is in my nature to try to achieve in any situation, making this session appealing to me.
At the time, I was a young Resident Director and felt that I had found my calling in serving students. It was part pastoral, part administrative work which was right up my alley. Since I was unlikely to find space to climb in church ministry, this was my nearest fit. Also, education scratched the nerdy love of learning that I always had. Count me in Ladies...let's climb.
One of the women shared some research with the group about barriers to leadership for women. There are the normal ones that create the "glass ceiling" or the "labyrinth" as the journey has been described by some writers. These barriers include: misogyny (this is a big one), other women's unwillingness to help and the one that I needed to be most afraid of...chosen changes.
Many women choose not to raise their hands for leadership roles or more responsibilities because we are also juggling home responsiblities that account for what essentially becomes a "second shift." While some women look at the bind and resolve to do it all with "effortless perfection," other women make the choice to stay at their level to manage the loads. A third group of women make the choice to take an off-ramp and stay at home with those sweet ones that they have birthed, adopted, or through life circumstances, have become responsible to nurture.
For women who come from a faith background, like I do, these choices are almost always accompanied by lots of prayer and wisdom seeking. "What does God want for my family? for Me?" For all of us who love our work, the we ask the questions of what does this mean for my career? If I choose to climb, do I need to pretend that my kids don't exist? What if a sick day comes on a board meeting day? Those who have chosen to stick to a role, question whether or not that opportunity will come back around. And those that take the off-ramp, ask, when (if) I jump back in, how far behind will I have to start from when I left? Will my time-away be counted against me?
The research answer to this is yes. Women who take an off-ramp during their careers struggle to merge back into the workplace and ever achieve the same or greater status as before they left. The day I heard this 'fact' I made what I knew at the time was a pretty strong resolution. NOT me. I won't take the off-ramp unless God himself tells me to. Each time I had a child, I checked that resolution and prayed fervently to make sure I wasn't staying in only out of obedience to that resolve. Rather, I wanted to check that I was working out of a sense of calling.
One thing I have been pondering lately is how there are 'facts' and then there is 'Truth.' Research endeavors to establish facts about what is. We can choose to allow that to be the truth about what we can do and be OR we can push past what is to create new possibilities of what can be. For me, this means making a new and better resolution. I have resolved to BE the on-ramp. When rockstar women who chose to take and off-ramp are ready to jump back in, I choose to see their experience as relevant. They just ran a small business for a time that include relevant leadership skills. Brokering toddler fights=conflict resolution. Do I even need to list the ways a mom can multi-task?
If we want to change the future of leadership and possibility for our daughters, we have to start by being the hand that helps another woman up the ladder and being the on-ramp for the women who are ready to merge back into the workplace. Change is possible, but it has to be intentional. The choice is ours.
